Top 10 Stand-Up Comedians

This is pretty self-explanatory. My top ten favorite standd-up comedians/ A lot of greats like Dane Cook, Carlos Mencia, Gabriel Iglesias, Mitch Hedberg, etc didn't make it, but they are great, so yeah, shut up. By the way, there's not as much explanation for each pick as usual, I found stand-up comedians to be more difficult to talk about without repeating myself than I'd hope, but I tied. So... Here's the list!

10. Brian Posehn - Posehn is a big, lovable, awkward Metalhead/gamer/comic nerd with a bald head and a face full of beard. He's probably the most personally relatable comedian on this list. He's hilarious, references awesome shit, and makes his entire life, and even himself into one huge running gag. The only issue really, is he doesn't have a whole lot of stand-up stuff. He has other amazing work including his own album full of guest appearances by Metal legends, but his stand-up career, as far as released material, is, while hysterical, rather barren unfortunately.

9. Greg Giraldo - The late, great King of Roasts was a terribly underrated comedian. He always destroyed when he came up to the podium for Comedy Central's annual "look at this big name we got, please watch us again" festival. But Mr. Giraldo also had amazing stand-up work for those who cared enough to look into it or were lucky enough to stumble upn it like I was. Energetic, self-deprecating, and calloused, I think, are the three best words (at least that I thought of in the five seconds of effort I put in) to describe his performances. he wasn't afraid to attack anyone or anything, which was cool, because he'd attack himself ten fold. It's a shame that he left as soon as he did, I feel he was reaching the height of his creativity, and he was more popular than ever. He may have finally gotten the recognition he deserves. Rest in peace and all that jazz.

8. Demitri Martin - Demitri is an awkward, nerdy, skinny kid with floppy hair, genius level student that happens to have an astoundingly witty and hilarious sense of humor. He uses props like whiteboards and powerpoints in his jokes, making you feel like you're in the most hilarious college class ever, except you're actually learning something instead of playing on your phone and thinking you're sneaky. I hope when I get back into college, Demitri's finally gotten a teaching gig, and it happens to be in a small school in an above average sized city in the northeast. Yeah, it's good to have nonsensical and unobtainable dreams.

7. Eddie Murphy - Eddie Murphy is and was a comedic genius. His penchant for family-friendly movies over the last decade and a half has lead many to See him as little more than your kid's favorite funny man. But he gained his game with amazing, often less than appropriate comedies like Trading Places, The Golden Child, Beverly Hills Cop, and Coming to America. He was even in elite comedic form in movies like The Nutty Professor and Dr. Dolittle, and even animated roles in Shrek and Mulan. But that has nothing to do with this, I just want you all to know that he is a great comedian, despite his recent history. That said, before all that, he was the elite among elite stand-up comedians. "Raw" is quite possibly the greatest comedy show ever recorded, and is legendary among fans of stand-up comedy and fans of laughter and enjoyment in general. You owe it to yourself to watch this, it's absolute gold. The only reason Eddie is so low on my personal list, is that he has such a small body of work in stand-up, making his appeal to me last less than those with many different specials under their belt.

6. Frank Caliendo - Caliendo is the biggest impressionist working today, he'd likely tell you in more ways than one. A naturally hilarious guy, this is only emphasized by his many spot-on impressions of celebrities like George Bush, Al Pacino, Chris Farley, Adam Sandler (which he needs to implement much more often), Jerry Seinfeld, Robin WIlliams, David Letterman, Bill Clinton, Sean Connery, Robert De Niro, and Willian Shatner. Caliendo's constant switching of voices and personality is a fucking riot, and his own self-analytical humor is great too. Caliendo's a medium recommendation if you're just a human being, but a "BATSHIT CRAZY YES!!" recommendation if you happen to be a big sports fan like me. His impressions of sports personalities like Terry Bradshaw, Jim Rome, Charles Barkley, and his most famous, John Madden, are pure gold.

5. Dan Cummins - I've only known about Dan Cummins for a couple years, but, as you can clearly see, he's quickly flown up my list of favorite stand-up comedians. Cummins is the most fucked up and interesting mind I've seen in comedy in a long time, possibly since the great, twisted Lewis Black (spoilers?).Everything from games you play with strangers in elevators, to people watching adventures, to squirreladors, there's no subject he won't touch, and definitely no subject he won't twist to the point where you'd feel bad if you weren't too busy roflcopering (yep, that was just said) in a hysterical rage. he's still fairly unknown, but with his own comedic perfection, and Netflix housing his second special, that had better change soon!

4. Dave Chappelle - Cheppelle shouldn't really need an explanation. He's one of the most hilarious human beings on the face of the planet. He's a man that attacks all groups of people, attacks society as a whole, and seems to do so from a surprisingly relatable perspective. He's intelligent but not hard to understand, he's witty but not pretentious, he's just got the comedy formula down to a tee. it's a shame that the fame got to him and put his career on hold, though who knows how much the quality would have dipped under that pressure. he was Eddie Murphy in his prime without the deep-seeded desire to be accepted by all, or the acting chops... Or the hair.

3. Brian Regan - Brian Regan is the every man's comedian. Hysterically analytical about life and society, a physical as well as verbal comedian, relatable to most people in some way, a kind and likable guy, and he makes you roll on the floor without swearing once. If you live on this earth, you've had an experience he talks about. He's by far the funniest comedian you can watch with your kids, ranted they may not know too much about the eye doctor or dealing with UPS. But they can relate to pinning the tail on their friends and playing baseball for free snowcones.

2. Lewis Black -  Lewis Black, at least according to his on-stage persona, is probably the angriest old man I've ever witnessed. He's pissed off about the world, about the government, about people, and he's going to make sure you hear it. And he's right for the most part, delivering it ina harsh, over-exaggerated tone that only adds to the cynical hilarity. Lewis Black is a man that can make you laugh, but also make you think about how fucked up and crazy most of the people sitting right next to you at his show are.

1. George Carlin - Speaking of eye-opening comedians, no one has ever or likely will ever do it better than the late legend, George Carlin. Whether it be religion, government, materialism, airports, consumerism, the government, entertainment media, executions, the joys of bloodsport, stupid names, or the occasional dick and fart jokes, there's not one thing George Carlin wouldn't talk about or couldn't find issue with, and, whether you agreed with him or not, he always made far too valid an argument for a sensible person to take offense anyway. besides, you'd probably bee too busy trying to breathe through your fits of laughter to get a word in anyway. he realized just how fucked up every aspect of society is, and while appreciating all he had, was never afraid to crush the typical idealism many people cling to. He made the world think, laugh, and appreciate what we have, while motivating us to improve it, for 52 years, over 14 comedy specials, 10 CD's separate from those specials multiple televisions and movie roles, 5 books with an upcoming posthumous 6th, he influenced many of the comedians on this list, and many people the world over, including yours truly. I don't think i'd be the person I am without having ever heard, read or seen George Carlin. which is pretty impressive for a guy that made his life telling jokes on stage.


That's my list, it's better than yours, yours sucks. Comment and stuff. Twitter @SycoMantis1991

Top Ten Icey Character Things

To celebrate the freezingass temperatures we've experienced lately, and because my laptop screen broke the night before Christmas Eve, when I planned on releasing this, there are my Top Ten Ice People... Things... beings... in media.

10. Killer Frost - Killer Frost is, plain and simple, the epitome of "psycho bitch". After accidentally being locked in a thermo frost chamber, she gained the power to freeze basically anything, even succeeding in bringing an ice age to all of New York City at one point. Unlike most with her powers, she uses heat as an aid to conduct her powers, meaning fire-based attacks only serve to strengthen her where it'd be detrimental, if not deadly to many with similar powers. After gaining her powers, she went on a murderous rampage, and in many appearances, she's been shows to take jobs, such as that with Gorrilla Grogg's Legion of Doom, just for the opportunity to kill. She's awesomely sadistic and powerful. The only reason she's not higher is that much of her motivation stems from her man-hating nature that is fueled by being rejected by a professor in high school... Really? Come on!

9. Frost Walrus - Frost Walrus is the (shockingly) ice-wielding member of the Maverick Repliforce from one of my favorite games, Mega Man X4. He's in charge of guarding their snow base an d the weapon under construction there. Flipper here has an abnormal lust for destroying shit and proves so in his boss battle, implementing barrages of deadly giant ice spoke and even his own body as a weapon of destruction. he's not the most memorable or toughest Maverick, but he has one of my favorite levels, and being an average Maverick means he's still pretty badass.

8. Jin Kisagari - Jin is kind of an overachieving douchebag with a chip on his shoulder for no apparent reason. He attempted to kill his siter out of the jealousy he had for her closeness to his brother despite his douchebaggery being the obvious reason that this was the case. he's the former head of an elite military squad, and isn't afraid to drown you in his superiority. So why's he so high on this list? I just plain fucking love using him in blazblue, he's by far my go-to character. I mean, he hoverboards upon a giant glass sword as an attack! You are not capable of arguing with that.

7. Yukina - Yukina isn't so much a user of ice (at least that I've seen), but she was born in and lives in the coldest depths of the world, and she's a demon. She's a cute ice demon, that can heal pretty much any wound, and is probably the most kind and lovable person ever. In a show about fighting demons with mystical powers, she really stands out, and oddly fits right in. Aside from her introductory story arc where she's kidnapped and forced to make diamonds for some rich douchebag, which is more of a setup for the Dark Tournament saga, she doesn't do a whole lot besides cheer the team on sometimes. But she's cute, charming, and a counter-balance to pretty much every other hyper-violent demon (Kurama notwithstanding, but he still fights a lot) in the show Especially considering who her brother is (OMG SPOILERS)

6. Winter Warlock - The Winter Warlock is the most nostalgic character on this list for me. I love the old stop-motion Christmas specials, and Santa Claus is Comin' to Town is perhaps my favorite, very much so due to this guy, well him and Burgermeister Meisterburger. A grumpy old, well, warlock, who's taught the gift of joy by Mr. Claus in one of the most catchy and stupidly amusing tunes in film history. He's  surprisingly deep character that probably goes through the biggest transition of anyone throughout the movies. And when he wants to be, he can be an all-powerful badass. Just call him "Gandalf The Sky
Blue."

5. Gray Fullbuster - Gray is the newest character on here, by quite a bit. I've recently gotten into the Fairy Tail anime, and Gray is one of the best characters. He has a deep and intense backstory, insanely powerful and creative magical abilities, and has shown unwavering dedication to his friends and willingness to leap into the heat of battle to defend what he loves or believes in. To the point that he's, on more than one occasion, shown a willingness to, and even attempted to off himself in order to protect those he cares for, and the world itself. Also, ice magic looks awesome, and when you can make a character who has a habit of removing his shirt seem like a total badass, that's elite writing.

4. Frozone - Frozone is just awesome incarnate. He's like Iceman voiced by Samuel L. Jackson. I really shouldn't need to say more, but I suppose I will. Frozone is a retired superhero called back to action when a new threat arrives (pretty simplistic, I know). But it's a lot more awesome when Samuel L. Jackson is balancing superheroing and being a family man. To be honestly, I can't go into a lot more depth as it's been a long time since I saw more than just clips from the movie, but I really don't need to. MACE WINDU AND JULES AS A SUPERHERO. Watch The Incredicles.

3. Mr. Freeze - Mr. Freeze is probably the best character here, he's jsut not my favorite. he's pretty much the definition of a tragic figure. After his wife was struck with a fatal illness, Victor Fries placed her in suspended animation until he was able to fund a cure, but due to his lack of funds, the corporation paying for his research pulled the plug, causing an accident leaving him cold-blooded and unable to survive at anything above sub zero temperatures. While he's not a bad person, he's so dedicated to saving his wife, that he'll commit any atrocity necessary to achieve his goals. I think that's some deep shit right there. Also, Arnold Schwarzenegger plays him in Batman & Robin and it's beyond hilarious, and needs to be experienced.

2. Sub-Zero - Sub-Zero was obviously a shoo-in. The ice-powered kung fu master is easily the msot recognizable ice-wielding character in gaming, and perhaps all of entertainment. With the ability to freeze people, make ice clones in a split second, generate awesome speed by sliding on his own ice, and the fact that he's a martial arts aficionado, that sometimes weilds a hugeass sword, and there's really no reason to not put him on here. His lore is surprisingly deep too, but I don't feel like going into it, he'd be here either way.

1. Iceman - This may seem like a lame choice, but hear me out. Iceman is a fucking badass. He has pretty much limitless ice power and ice-crafting capabilities, he's one of the strongest X-Men, he's a snarky ass much like The Flash but a tad less cocky, he's MADE OUT OF ICE BUT NEVER MELTS SOMEHOW CUZ HE'S A BOSS, he's just extremely fun to watch or read, and steals every scene he's in. Also, Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 is maybe my favorite fighting game, and my best character, (when I'm not fighting someone who's seen me use him a lot) is Iceman. He can wreck your shit from long range, close range, or he can knock you into the air and wail on you from above, and he has one of the only specials that covers almost the entire area in front of him. A little bit of bias, but that's the point of this, and he's awesome either way.






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