Favorite Things from E3 this Year

I know this is late, I planned on making this into a video, but I can't find any quality free recorders or video editors. So yeah, now it's an obnoxiously late blog post. Anyway, you already saw the title, so just read.



10. Mad Max:
I'm a big fan of the Mad Max movies. Being 21, it's obviously very common to have grown up on late 70's/early 80's action films. I have weird tastes. Anyway, I heard a few months back that a new Mad Max film is being made, and honestly, I hope this isn't going to be a cashcow of a movie tie-in to that. Not that I don't trust the movie, I don't know enough to have any opinion whatsoever. i just know that those often flop no matter the movie, and I hope it's a project that instead, they work hard to translate one of the richest and most fun worlds in both sci-fi and action, into a rich and engaging personal experience. So in other words, I want the opposite of Avatar.


9. Destiny:

I honestly thought nothing, maybe even less than that, of Destiny prior to E3. But I have to admit, I was a big fan of at gameplay demo at Sony's press conference. When I heard "Bungie and Activision creating a first-person shooter", I immediately rolled my eyes and reached for the gun to put this industry out of its misery. "The people that shoved one of the best IPs of the last decade down our throats so much that I couldn't bare to touch it anymore teaming up with the assbags that have brought us such recent FPS classics as the Goldeneye remake, four other 007 games, the 2009 Wolfenstein game, and the Call of FUCKING Duty games. How could it go wrong?!. But, as it turns out, it looks pretty damn sweet. Not absolutely jaw-dropping, but it looks like a highly enjoyable first-person shooter. Which is not a sentence you'll hear very often from me, especially about new games. To not drone too much, the art style is really appealing, the powers look really fun and useful, the movement is so, SO smooth, and, even though it's been compared to the most average shooter in history, Borderlands, I think it's a lot more polished gameplay-wise than that or Bungie's former killer IP. I just hope there's a solo option, because I'm not always in the mood to tear through games with other jackholes I don't know. I'm not shitting myself for this game, but I do think it looks very enjoyable for a modern FPS.


8. Super Smash Bros. 4:

Yeah, this may be the least innovative title on this list. But fuck you, these games are awesome! And two big things put it on this list. 1: I'm getting a 3DS and have no clue if I'll have a Wii U anything near soon, and it's on the 3DS. 2: MEGA MAN!! MEGA MAN!!!he Wii Fit chick is amusingly awesome too, but Mega Man!!! Who doesn't want to see him take on Bowser? Yeah, Mario would be cool, but the character whose purpose in life is taking out bosses fighting the most famous of all? Come on! Plus, in addition to his Mega Buster, he's getting a bunch of other nifty power-ups from his past such as the Shoryuken, Crash Bomb, Leaf Shield, and Metal Blade from Mega Man 2, the Top Spin, Hard Knuckle, and Spark Shot from Mega Man 3, the Flame Blast from Mega Man 6, the Flame Sword from 8, the Slash Claw from 7, Super Arm from the original Mega Man, and Rush Coil from just about every Mega Man after 3. There's honestly not a shit ton to say about this one besides that. it's Smash Bros. Nintendo characters fighting to the death. The fucking END


7. Dragon Age: Inquisition:

I wish I was a lot, I mean A LOT more excited for this than I am. I was absolutely in love with Dragon Age: Origins. And I'm a borderline BioWare obsessive. Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Knights of the Old republic, Mass Effect, they're just... Just so good, I can't put it into words. But lately, pretty much since the moment EA bought BioWare, they've gone down the shitter. Sure, Dragon Age: Origins and Mass Effect 2 were amazing, but those were both being created before said purchase occured. Dragon Age II was a massive disappointment. It was a lazy, ugly, unentertaining mess of a game. Solid animation and controls are pretty much the only things it had going for it, which isn't saying a lot for a story-centric RPG. Now with THE three masterminds of BioWare gone, Greg Zeschuk, Ray Muzyka, and Drew Karpyshyn, who by the way is among the better writers alive today, and knowing EA, it's very hard to trust this game. But I want SO BAD for this to be amazing. That's why it's as high as it is, though I expect it to be closer to the Birdemic than Citizen Kane of video games.

6. Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Two Worlds/Yoshi's New Island:

Ok, these aren't exactly the most original games on the list, in fact, they're even less original than Smash Brothers. But at the same time, these are reboots of two of my favorite games of all time. Absolute classics that are the pinnacle of game design. Now I don't think these will be as great as the originals, but they both look like amazing adaptations that are different enough to be worth experiencing on their own. They'll both also hopefully bring new fans to the classic games they're modeled around. Also, I'm an old person so I like old people type games, so fuck off!!

5. South Park: The Stick of Truth:

I've loved South Park since I was a kid. It's probably the only show that can be as crude and simultaneously ingenious as it is. Most South Park games of the pas have been preeeeeeeeeetty fucking shit. South Park for the N64, Chef's Luv Shack, South Park Rally, all horrible, HORRIBLE abominations. And unfortunately, I've played each of those. But this time, there's actually a lot of promise. First of all, it actually has Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the creators of South Park, helping with a lot of the writing and animation. It's also being developed by Obsidian, a RPG developer well known for making amazing games out of existing source material such as Knights of the Old Republic and Neverwinter Nights. I don't know a whole lot about the game, but since South park humor and Role-Playing games are two of my favorite things ever, I'm just a tad excited about this game.

4. Twitch/Ustream:

I know this is a bit off-topic since the last six have been video games, but I think it's awesome enough to warrant a place here. I've thought about doing streaming-ass shit for a bit now and it'll be cool to do so straight through my system without needing any extra adapters, assuming I can afford a PS4 eventually. Because, to be honest, I don't plan on owning a Xbox One, even if it does have Killer fucking Instinct. Bastards! So be prepared for that, and I apologize in advance.


3. Kingdom Hearts 3:

See what I did there? Number 3? Kingdom Hearts 3? Eh? EH?! Oh, fuck off! This is probably one on a lot of peoples' lists, and I'll admit that I shit myself when I saw the preview during the Sony conference. But I'm also very skeptical about it. Square Enix hasn't made a quality game in almost a decade, and it's pretty hard to trust that this will undoubtedly change all that. Yeah, I want it and I hope it's amazing and I can see it being so, I just don't see it as an inevitability. Besides, people are acting like we're starving for Kingdom Hearts games. I haven't played them all, but there have been eight releases since the original debuted in 2002, that's almost as often as Call of Duty releases its annual sixty dollar updates. So it's not the absolute most exciting thing from E3 to me. Though I can't wait to play it and hope it kicks ass. Though if it ends up sucking, maybe it'll be the kick in the face Square Enix needs to get their shit together.

2. Indiefuckinggames:

Those indie games. THOSE INDIE GAMES. Sony just fucking destroyed with that lineup. Every game looked amazing and fun, and is one of the big things that sold me on the system. Transistor, Octodad: Dadliest Catch Mercenary Kings, Secret Ponchos, Ray's the Dead, The Witness, Outlast, Galak-Z, and the Abe's Oddysee remake, Oddworld: New N' Tasty all look amazing and are all coming to the PS4 first. But there are also other balls-tastic indie games shown at E3, including Shovel Knight, Towerfall, and maybe the most personally exciting title, The Angry Video Game Nerd Adventure, a 2D action-platformer based on the YouTube legend that is The Angry Video Game Nerd. All of these look like amazing games and are some of the best shown off at E3 this year.

1. Pokemon X/Y:

I was hoping to avoid putting this at number one, to be honest. I'm a huge Pokemon fan, Have been since I was barely seven and got my first brand new Game Boy Color along with a copy of Pokemon Blue for Christmas waaaaaaaaay back in 1998. Holy balls, I'm old. But yeah, you probably think I'm a nostalgiac idiot for this, but I really am not looking forward to anything else nearly as much as this. I plan on getting a 3DS along with Y the day it comes out and good luck finding me after that. I've been anticipating this since it was announced in, I think February? Something like that. Some of the new designs are kinda blah, and some others are awesome. That's always how Pokemon is though. For every Charizard and Excadrill, there's an Exeggcute and a Vanillite. I'm more concerned with the game itself, and it looks to be the best yet. Riding on Pokemon, rollerblades, horde battles where you can battle a bunch of Pokemon at once to make leveling quicker, and gain an exp boost on top of that, sky battles, character customization, the works. Not to mention no fucking friend codes. I'm still waiting to hear whether I can bring my White 2 Pokemon to the fancy new game. Cuz, like, I have a lot, ya know. That'd kind of blow. As if that time wasn't enough of a waste. But I'm sure they'll figure that out. They did when they moved from GBA to DS so yeah. Wooooooooooooo, Pokemans!

Thoughts on the E3 Conferences

I know it's kind of late, but I had a lot to say. Also, I couldn't bring myself to wake up for the Nintendo Direct so I needed to catch up. Anyway, read away! Hope you're comfy...


Microsoft: Honestly, Microsoft's press conference wasn't quite as bad as I thought it'd be. It wasn't that good, but it wasn't bad either. They played it pretty safe for the most part. They started with maybe their safest Non-FPS moneymaker in Metal Gear Solid V. Now in case my name didn't give it away, I'm a pretty big fan of the MGS series. I'm not very impressed with this however, everything new about it seems like a pathetic attempt to be a Rockstar game. I honestly don't see why people are so excited about that If I want a Rockstar game, I'll play one, or at least Sleeping Dogs. Not to mention how dull and uninspired the bosses seem. I expect better, Kojima. For shame!

They also showed off many other multi-console titles that really shouldn't sway you any way at all. For example, Assassin's Creed IV. Honestly, it looks decent, it basically looks like that sailing mini-game from Assassin's Creed III but with fancier hats and rapiers. They also showed off a trailer for everyone's favorite new IP, Watch Dogs, which really didn't tell us much of anything. Pretty much the same can be said about their "super exclusive" Quantum Break. Yeah, it looked kinda cool, nothing really happened but we saw a cut-scene version of the in-game time-freezing mechanic we all knew about anyway, doesn't really do much for or to the determent of the game, just an unnecessary reminder that it exists. They did show a pretty cool looking game titled, for now at least, Project Spark. It's a game where you can manipulate the world around you, events in it, establish cities, use powers, and the works with the help of the Kinect and Smartglass. I don't like using that many gimmicks to use another gimmick, but it looked pretty cool. The question remains as to far far it'll go, and while it looks fun, the gameplay seems solid but nothing special, it's hard to tell if once the novelty wears off, it'll still be an enjoyable experience. Oh yeah, and Forza 5. Yaaaaaaaaaaay.

There is one game that really caught my attention though. That game is Killer Instinct. it's not exactly what I'd hope for out of a KI game, it's a bit on the Super Street Fighter IV-clone side for my taste, but it still looks really fun, and it's nice to see the name in the public light again. BUT THEN THEY HAD TO FUCK IT ALL UP!! Download-only Xbox One exclusive, that sucks for me because I don't want one, but ok fine. You can't play the system unless it's online anyway so no one with the console is really unable to obtain it. But it gets worse. When you get the game, you only have ONE CHARACTER AVAILABLE. Jago is available from the get-go, but then you have to buy everyone else! You have to buy Saberwulf, Glacius, Fulgore, Riptor, Orchid, TJ Combo, etc. WHY?! Why is this a thought that would pass through a functioning human being's mind? Yet alone actually going through with it. Not only are you killing one of the most unheralded great franchises in gaming, you're doing it by thrusting yet another horrible business practice down our throats.

Now that that's over, they did show a cool feature or two. I really like the twitch.tv app. You can live stream your games easily and instantly through your Xbox One without needing any special capturing tools or anything of the sort. I've honestly wanted to do that kind of thing for a while now, but unfortunately I'll have to settle for ustream, cuz I'm still not getting this thing. But it is a cool add-on for anyone who does, and it's probably the first thing they've done that actually caters to gamers.

All in all, one big shitty thing, one big cool thing, and a bunch of meh. It won't make any haters love it, and it won't make any loyalists (which is what I thing you'd have to be) hate it. They didn't address any of the lingering questions, or even acknowledge all the crazy things they've already announced, which is probably smart on their part since they themselves have confirmed a lot of it, and they need all the good will they can get. All this for $499.



Electronic Arts: Another subpar showing. Obviously more strictly games though. The new Plants vs. Zombies looks meh, nothing new in games as far as gameplay, you just happen to be plants and zombies. Battlefield 4 is Battlefield, it's pretty much what you expect, nothing special whether you care for it or not. You shouldn't be impressed or deterred by it. The EA Sports games look nice, but it's EA Sports. Again, nothing really new. They look graphically better of course, and NBA Live 14 is back and sounds promising, but so did the last few and they were so bad that they gave up on them for a few years. Its Xbox exclusivity might move units for the one or two basketball fans that don't love the 2K series, but I don't see it lasting long. The rest look good like one would expect, but how many people go to or watch E3 for sports games? There's also Need for Speed Rivals, which looks like Hot Pursuit re-titled. Way to innovate, EA. If 2011 was the E3 of big, dumb shooters, this year's is the E3 of cars. Peggle 2 was announced, so, cool I guess?

There were some actually exciting, or at least intriguing announcements. Including the presumed Star Wars: Battlefront game, which while that's nice, the team behind it is responsible for all of two kind of shitty medal of Honor games, doesn't exactly inspire confidence if you ask me, though I do hope it's good. The Titanfall footage wasn't impressive to me, looks like it plays just like Battlefield, except there are mechs in it. Unfortunately, there was Dragon Age news. The new game entitled Dragon Age: Inquisitor, has been delayed to the fall of next year. That kind of sucks for those of us that wanted to play it, but at the same time, as a HUGE BioWare fan, it's nice to see them being given extra time to work on a game after Dragon Age II and Mass Effect 3 were rushed out with the results of a blah game and a horrible ending respectively. At least we know Morrigan's back. I am cautiously optimistic about this game, emphasis on cautiously. EA did end rather impressively, with a beautiful and high- acrobatic action trailer for Mirror's Edge 2, the sequel to the cult hit Mirror's Edge, a game that garnered praise for its uniqueness and amazing ideas, though it wasn't quite polished enough to be a classic. Perhaps this will be the marriage of innovation and quality the first one strived to be, but I wouldn't hold my breath.



Ubisoft: This conference definitely started out, well, different. Don't ask me why, but they kicked it off with Jerry Cantrell of Alice in Chains fame riffing out some "Man in the Box" for the crowd. What could possibly be momentous enough to bring in a big name like that? Well, Rocksmith of course. Yeah, I forgot that existed too. They do know peripheral-centered rhythm games kind of died with Guitar Hero, right? Not that anyone played the first Rocksmith anyway. What an astonishingly underwhelming way to start. It's a cool idea, but it's amazing they didn't realize how little people care for it. Shortly after, they revealed The Crew, another "slick" racing game that doesn't seem to have much of anything unique about it, though the beginning of the trailer does suggest the ability to build your vehicle from the ground up, but I may just be too analytical for my own good. We saw Splinter Cell: Blacklist, which all we learned is that Sam Fisher is in it, which we were all on the edge of our seats over. It'll probably be good, but not new enough of an experience to excite me, or warrant the price in my opinion.

Other games they show include Rayman Legends which is basically a re-skinned Origins, cool? I mean it looks fun, and it is interesting to set the levels in mythological environments, but gameplay-wise, I see no difference between this and Rayman Origins. There was also an interesting=looking free-to-play MMO entitled The Mighty Quest for Epic Loot. It definitely has a visual charm to it and a sense of humor, but the gameplay is fairly typical of a tower defense game, which is an under-hyped genre, but doesn't make the game sound really exciting either. The new Just Dance is Just Dance, the end. South Park: The Stick of Truth  got a mildly amusing trailer, but the fart weapon seems a bit childish for what's supposed to be a labor of love for Matt Stone and Trey Parker, though I do still see a lot of potential for the game. More Assassin's Creed IV stuff, cool, we already saw this. The big finally was I Am Legend: The Game, I mean Tom Clancy's The Division. Its trailer is probably the most droning thing I've ever seen at E3, and its gameplay was almost equally as dull. And it's an RPG? Really? Since when do RPGs revolve around shooting things in the face with an over-the-shoulder camera? But yeah, an underwhelming end to a conference filled with quantity over quality.



Sony: Hours upon hours of blah, and finally we get something good. This wasn't the best conference ever, but it's arguably the most exciting. They started by quickly running through a bunch of PS Vita titles like the God of War and Final Fantasy X/X-2 HD collections, The Walking Dead, Batman: Arkham Origins, Killzone: Mercenary, and more. They also announced exclusive skins for Arkham Origins and a Grand Theft Auto V bundle, which is kinda cool as exclusives, but definitely nowhere near system-sellers. They also showed off Rain, which wasn't very informative, but also showed an awkward but inspired game called Beyond: Two Souls. The puppeteer is an indie-looking, didn't hear anything about if it is, that looks really unique and interesting.But luckily they didn't drone a whole lot on those two systems before moving on to the PS4.

They showed off a few media-related things that look good, but they focused more on gaming than Microsoft did, you know, the people that went on about how game-centric they'd be. They showed ANOTHER racing game called DriveClub, which is going to be a racing MMO, which is interesting, but not enthralling either. Not to mention Gran Turismo 6. Yaaaaay, Gran Turismo but kind of better looking i guess. Whoooooo! They moved on to new games in the Killzone and Infamous franchises which look like solid games, but I doubt they'll be more than improved versions of their predecessors. Knack is a cartoony action-looking game with a neat upgrade mechanic and what look to be some huge battles. Sony's certainly showing they have a KNACK for the unexpected, eh?! Whatever, you all suck. The old man from their Playstation 4 unveiling is back and actually has a game. And it looks like a good one. The Dark Sorceror doesn't provide a lot as far as gameplay, though the title does give some ideas. What really sold me was the trailer. A witty green screen parody of movie directing that had me rolling, and I'm not the easiest person to amuse.

Sony also, likely in response to Microsoft's restrictions against Indie developers went Indie crazy about half an hour in, and I loved every fucking second of it! Not only are they cheap games created by promising developers, and heavily supported by a huge company, but they all look amazing. Transistor is a gorgeous cell-shaded game that looks like a Shin Megami Tensei game with the RPG elements replaced by stellar-looking action by Supergiant Games, the creators of the critically-acclaimed Bastion. The Witness looks a lot like a spiritual successor to the Myst series with beautiful Flower/Journey-like graphics. Don't Starve is already out for PC, but it's a critical hit that is getting even more features and levels on the PS4. Mercenary Kings is an awesome hand-drawn 2D side-scrolling action/platformer. Octodad: Deadliest Catch, I don't even know, it's so weird and awesome, I can't help but wanna get my hands on it. Secret Ponchos is an awesomely-named overhead action/shooter/brawler spaghetti western by the just as awesomely-named developer, Switchblade Monkeys. Ray's Dead is an action/puzzle game where you lead a gang of zombies. Outlast is a horror game that looks like a mix of D2 and Fatal Frame. Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty is a fucking Outworld game!! It's a remake of the original that's definitely worth checking out, especially if you never played the original. A charming, humorous and deep experience, and maybe the start of new games from the series if it does well. Finally, Galak-Z is an awesome space shooter reminiscent of Raiden but with more free-reign of your movements and more stylized graphics. I know I went on a lot about these, but they're some amazing looking games that you'll likely never see on the Xbox One. And with Playstation Plus, you can get these all for free within the first year or so of having your system. Only drawback is you have to pay the $5 a month to play online, but everything else minus the free games is available whereas most is limited to Gold members on the Xbox One.

Back to the bigger games. Whereas Microsoft had a lot of demos, Sony showed off a lot of actual gameplay for a lot of the multi-console games. Assassin's Creed IV looks a lot more exciting now that I've seen it in action, though it's still definitely not innovative. There was also an amusing moment where the demo glitch-fested and the Microsoft loyalists were screaming their superiority, though Battlefield 4 did the same to Microsoft. These are incomplete games on uinfinished consoles, calm the balls down! We also got a demo of the show-stealing IP, Watch Dogs. It's a visually stunning game with very interesting mechanics, we have yet to see how well they're implemented, but it promises a great deal or unique and innovative gameplay. We also got a trailer of a new game entitled Mad Max, which while I have no clue why it exists, as a fan of the movies, I'm glad it does. We know little about it, but the fact that it's a thing is badass. Not to mention a preview of Elder Scrolls Online, with an open beta announcement exclusive to PS3. Betas usually aren't big, but this is a huge enough title that it'll likely move quite a few systems. The last thing we saw game-wise on the day was a long gameplay demo of Destiny. I believe it was seven, people joined the game at numerous times, fighting off alien hordes with first-person shooter action, awesome powers, and stunning visuals. It looks a lot like Halo mixed with Borderlands if it was fun. It runs great online, and the animation is some of the smoothest I've ever seen. Though this is all based solely on the PS4 version. I was never interested in Destiny until I saw this demo.

But none of this is the big deal of Sony's presser. There was a 20-minute segment where they completely stole the show. it started with a demo/trailer that showed that the core of Final Fantasy Versus XIII was being re-tooled into Final Fantasy XV. Which, without pause, transitioned into a beautiful Kingdom Hearts trailer, doing an amazing job of building up the suspense until... KINGDOM HEARTS 3!!! yep, it finally exists and it's coming to the Playstation 4. Then, they wen't on to beat the shit out of Microsoft. Announcing very specifically, no necessary online connection, no trading or selling restrictions, no necessary codes or installations, and pretty much nothing negative that Microsoft has implemented into their console. jab after jab at Microsoft. They even released a hilarious video during their conference showcasing how to share games on PS4. Which involves handing a game to another individual. It pretty much ended the next-gen war before it began in my opinion. Oh yeah, the price tag? A nice $399.

Nintendo: This morning, Nintendo released a live Nintendo Direct. I planned to watch this live, but yeah, I was up to late watching and talking about Sony, so I opted to miss it. There's not as much to say as it was only about 40 minutes, but they impressed more than I expected. They showed a lot of gameplay for things such as the new Super Mario 3D World which includes a new cat outfit that actually looks a lot more fun than it sounds. Really quick, clawing attacks and the ability to climb up walls as well as up to four-player co-op. The game itself looks really good and blends 2D and 3D seemlessly. There's also a nice-looking new Donkey Kong Country game, and new footage of the Wind Waker remake. As well as Mario Kart 8 for the Wii U with hoverboards, hang-gliding and anit-gravity mechanics that seem to add a lot to an otherwise, while fun, rather stagnant series. Wii Party U (a new Mario Party) and a new Wii Fit U.

The biggest deal, at least to me, is the new Pokemon X and Y information. We have to new Pokemon, a Dragon/Flying Pokemon that looks like an evolution of that bat from The Great Mouse Detective, and an unspectacular moth Pokemon that's probably an evolution of this generation's Caterpie or Weedle. But most importantly, there's a new type. And it's... ugh... Fairy Type. Really? Fairy? Does this series not get enough unfair "childish" tags against it? I'll admit, it seems like a useful type, being strong against Dragon, and weak against Poison, but I really wish it'd been something at least less lame-sounding. Sylveon is a Fairy Type, along with Marill, Clefairy, and Gardevoir so far. Gardevoir is interesting though. I've heard Fairy might also be strong against Dark. if it is, that would cancel out Gardevoir's Dark weakness, and its existing Psychic type would cancel out the Poison weakness. Not to mention having a powerful Psychic type that can now take on Dragon types to boot.There's also a release date, October 12th. I know what I'm doing that day.

Platinum Games had a strong showing for Nintendo as well. Not only did the Bayonetta 2 trailer look really good, but they showed off a new game called The Wonderful 101. yeah, I didn't expect to see any new IPs here, but this one looks really cool. It has gorgeous graphics and a really cool concept of a bunch of sueprheroes forming into colossal and devastating weapons to unleash on foes. They also showed off Sonic: Lost World which looks like what Sonic 3D Blast wanted to be and actually seems pretty fun, being released for 3DS and Wii U. As well as a bunch of snippets of previously shown exclusives and eShop games, along with quite a few indie titles.

But the other big thing to come out of this Nintendo Direct was Super Smash Bros. Unveiled for both the 3DS and Wii U, it looks as gorgeous and fast-paced as you'd expect. They also announced three new characters. Villager from Animal Crossing, the Wii Fit girl that was shown off in her own video shortly after, and MEGA MAN!!! Yes, Mega Man is in Smash Bros. Yep, that's it! It's over! Day one purchase! Day fucking one!! Not everything was subpar to positive though, as Wii Party U and Wii Fit U were delayed, as well as Bayonetta 2 not being released until 2014. Overall though, a lot more creativity than I expected to see.


I have to say, these conferences were more than I expected, which admittedly was nothing at all. Microsoft was stagnant, Nintendo showed promise, and Sony blew it out of the fucking water. I can't wait to see some of the upcoming previews, news, and titles that I've likely missed a lot of while putting this together.

Top 10 Kind-of-Last Gen Console Games

So, I very often knock on this generation of games for being one of the worst ever, being so COD-clone-centric, for doing a lot of bad and not much good for the industry as a whole. And while I stick by those claims, let's be positive for once. There are some great games that came out this generation, and I want to count down my ten favorite. Keep in mind that it's just games released on 360/PS3/Wii. I also don't own a PS3 or Wii so I haven't played games like Uncharted, Super Mario Galaxy, Heavy Rain, LittleBigPlanet, Red Steel, and the like. Though I plan to some day. Also, this is my FAVORITE. Not particularly the best. Skyrim is a marvelous creation, but I honestly got bored of it after about 20 hours. Anyway, list!

10. Portal 2 - Yeah, when I first played this I thought it'd easily make this list. Portal 2 doubles the already astounding humor that the first game has. It also adds new mechanics and a co-op portion. Unfortunately, I don't own Portal 2 so I've never had the full experience with it. The single player is good fun, but the original and sequel, as far as gameplay, is one of those games I have to be in the thinking mood for. This alone bumps it down a little as most of the others I can pick up at any time. I also feel like the puzzles themselves aren't done quite as well as they were in the original Portal. Some of them are great, but a lot are either insultingly easy or ridiculously hard, and there's no consistency in said difficulty. It just flies around aimlessly. I know it's much longer than the original, but this subtracts a lot from the overall experience. Also, when I rented it, I had no one to play it with, so I haven't tried the awesome-looking co-op, so as a personal experience, it gets no points for that. I love this game, but it's not consistently fun enough as a game to be any higher than it is. Also, Wheatley is the shit, a little moreso even than GLaDOS

9. Fable III - This is often considered the "Dark Horse" of the Fable franchise. I don't know how much this being my first in the series has to do with my fondness for it. I honestly haven't played the first game and while I own Fable II, I've been putting off playing it forever. I was a big fan of the world itself. It felt big without making you trudge for hours to get anywhere. I also enjoyed a lot of the characters, as well as the humor. There's some seriously hilarious dialogue in the game. It's very "British" and sometimes outright rips off Monty Python, which I'm totally alright with, especially when John Cleese is actually in the game. The voice-acting is also expert as some of the most prominent British actors of the last few decades lend their talents to the characters, including the aforementioned John Cleese, Stephen Fry, Naomie Harris,Bernard Hill, Simon Pegg, and even Ben Kingsley. Anyway, the story is honestly on the simple side, you're a hero destined to bring about a revolution in your downtrodden kingdom. It doesn't need to be complex though, as the game does a solid job of creating the desire to create change. Also, you can choose the kind of leader you become through many different means. The combat is fluid and the button scheme is well-done, but in larger battles, it does get repetitive. Overall, it's not the best action-RPG I've played, but it's very enjoyable with a lot of extra content to make it last a while after you purchase it. And you can get it new for under 12 bucks on Amazon now. So yeah, well worth the price of a Starbucks coffee or two.

8. Brutal Legend - You won't see this on many top tens, unfortunately. It's more of a personal-taste pick. I mean they all are, but this caters to a far more specific taste than i think any other on my list. This game combines three things I love: Tim Schafer, Pick of Destiny, and strategy games. Brutal Legend takes place in a sprawling, colorful half-fantasy, half-heavy metal world. As the Jack Black-voiced Eddie Riggs, You lead another rebellion, though this time against a supernaturally-powerful 80's Glam Metal reject played by Judas Priest lead singer, Rob Halford. You're aided by the likes of Lita Ford, Lemmy Kilimister, actually Halford-looking Rob Halford, and Ozzy Osbourne as well as other not rock stars to free the land from oppression, tyranny, and borderline extinction. All the actors do a good job and get some really funny dialogue courtesy of Shafer's legendary writing. The action is a mix of hack-and-slash and real-time strategy. In battles, you move troops and build forts with the goal of taking out the opponent's main hub. But you can also jump in as Eddie and tear through the opposition or do battle with the enemy leader for periods of time. There are also car-chase sequences and battles, as well as mini-games, making sure the game never gets old. Oh, and the soundtrack, so damn good. Some of the best and most under-appreciated artists in metal are represented, and I've found myself just driving around listening to the music.

7. Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots - I honestly have only played this game once, and it was a few years ago, so I apologize if my representation isn't completely accurate. As I've stated, I never owned a PS3, but I rented this when I was visiting family for a couple weeks and powered through it while they were out of the house. Anyway, I think this game is just about on par with the first three games in the series. The gameplay is totally polished this time around, the environments look amazing, and are varied. The story, though even a bit more over-the-top than usual, is as epic and grand as ever. It's definitely very different at the same time. As opposed to the usual mid-war espionage, it's more of a post-war, well, espionage. You travel through war-torn and hostile environments. In certain areas, you're just another guy not wearing the right uniform. I think this helps balance the stealth-survival missions a bit more. It's a little more common that you'll have to whip out your gun and thankfully, the aiming is better than past games. The bosses are always the highlight of MGS and they go all out here. I think it's the most solid lineup since the original, and every one is a total mindfuck with a crazy backstory and a unique challenge in the fight itself. Overall, this one stands right with the first three games and is worth the admission at release, yet alone its current price.

6. Saints Row 2 - I love the Saints Row series. The first was a great change of pace from the GTA formula. Simplistic in story, fun, over-the-top action, and astounding humor. Saints Row 2 basically took everything that was great about the first game and made it better. The controls are better the story's better, the gameplay is even more fun, and it's bigger. To avoid spoilers, you're now in a position of power within the gang you joined in the first game. To regain control of the city, you'll do everything from shoot tanks with a rocket launcher from a helicopter, to gunfights with strippers, to participating in a demolition derby. All the characters are more fleshed out, both on your side and the others, making it more satisfying when you take them down. There are also many mini-games strewn about, such as ones involving rescuing hoes from their pimps and running in the street trying to get fucked up as badly as you can by as many vehicles as you can, just to sue the pricks. Overall, Saints Row 2 is one of the most fun experiences in gaming in a long time. I think Saints Row: The Third is great too, but it goes a bit heave on the ridiculous and doesn't strike quite the balance that this one does.

5. Batman: Arkham Asylum - Yep, Arkham ASYLUM, not City. You wanna know why? Well, I'll tell you why!! I haven't really played Arkham City yet. Yeah, it's still on my to-do list. Until then, I honestly can't say it's better. But that's ok, because I love this game. The atmosphere is absolutely perfect. The story is one of Batman's best, and every villain is executed well. Arkham does stealth magnificently, making it simple but not without effort, and non-essential, but beneficial and enjoyable enough to actually do, where a lot of stealth games make it so it's a lot easier to just gun everyone down. Not to mention how satisfying the stealth kills are. That being said however, there are times you have to fight, and luckily the fights are really enjoyable too. They're fast-paced brawls where Batman can leap from opponent to opponent, clearing a crowd in no time at all. It also features a solid, precision counter mechanic and free reign to escape and use bat-stuff against your opponents. The ending is, while fun, kind of stupid from the perspective of consistency within the story, but I don't make nearly as big a deal about it as most people do. It doesn't make the experience any less enjoyable. Also, I'd but Mark Hamill's Joker, especially in this game, against Heath Ledger's any day.

4. The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings - Honestly, if I hadn't purchased this more recently and had more time with it, this game would probably be higher, maybe even pushing for number one. Which, if you know me, and you see my number one, you'll know is downright blasphemous. The story of not just your main character, but the world around him is rich and engrossing. The actual world is huge and beautiful, the battles are strategic yet fast and fluid, not to mention difficult as balls, and the voice-acting, dialogue, and musical score are epic, and the game is full of things to do, places to see, people to meet, and enemies to fight. The whole thing is almost perfectly-crafted. The only thing holding it back for me is the fact that I haven't seen half of what there is to see and I have fuller experiences with literally everything else on the list.

3. Grand Theft Auto IV - As much as I love the direction that Volition took the GTA experience in with Saints Row, as far as a full experience, Rockstar definitely made the bigger and better game. The main character, Nico's story is deep and full of turmoil, the city is huge and vibrant, as well as extremely reminiscent of New York City itself, at least from my limited knowledge. The controls are smoother, there's a lot more to do, the characters are more fleshed out, and I honestly think the humor that is there is made even better when contrasted with the often serious tone. The plot takes many twists and turns, and you could honestly play this game forever and never actually finish it. Also, sit down and watch some of the made-up shows they have. They're fucking amazing. It's little details like those that make GTA IV the standout, not just in its genre, but in the entire series for me.

2. Dragon Age: Origins - I absolutely adore BioWare. Pre-Dragon Age II, every RPG they made was pure gold. Baldur's Gate I and II, Neverwinter Nights, Knights of the Old Republic, Jade Empire, the first Mass Effect, they were deities of Role-Playing Games. I honestly didn't play Origins until about a year and a half after it came out. I can honestly say that was a big mistake. I missed out on one of the best RPG's to come out in a long time, especially one of the best on consoles at least. Dragon Age takes place in a large, medieval-style world of mages, elves, , trolls, dwarves, trolls, dragons, and the many of the other tropes. That's about where the originality ends though. The game follows you and your group of companions as one of the last two surviving members of an organization charged with vanquishing an ancient evil that's threatening to rise again to conquer your country and eventually the world. The world is rich, the characters are unique and the dialogue and moral choices you can make keep the game interesting and new through multiple palythroughs, and the story goes a lot deeper than simply "kill the evil thing and win". Also, I believe this game is the smoothest transition of D&D rules to video games that I've ever seen.

1. Mass Effect 2 - Mass Effect is one of my favorite series' of all time. The only real debate I had for the number one spot was whether it'd be Mass Effect 1 or 2. As much as I love the first, Mass Effect 2 is honestly better in every way. It's bigger, the universe has more life to it, the characters are more fleshed out, you have a bigger cast, the stakes are higher, there are more side missions, higher stakes, and a lot of differences depending on what you did in the first game. All of this makes pretty much no playthrough exactly the same. Which is good, because you're insane if you only play this once. It's honestly the only game this year I played through more than twice, besides the first game. I've played through it about 5 1/2 times and I still love it. I'm still finding new story elements, and still having overall unique experiences. The entire trilogy is an absolute epic in storytelling, not just in gaming but in media as a whole. The entire universe is fleshed out, unique, with infinite possibilities. I'm definitely one of those that hates the ending to Mass Effect 3, but the trilogy as a whole is still more than worth investing your time into , multiple times, just for the journey itself. Mass Effect 2 is easily one of my favorite games of all time.

Follow @SycoMantis91, facebook @ Sycotic Soliloquies, blah blah.

Asura's Wrath Review

I know Friday is usually Top 10 Albums day, but I just posted one the other day, and I've been wanting to do this for a few weeks now. Asura's Wrath is a game I played the demo of before it even came out. I nearly shit my pants from all the awesome, but I didn't have the money to actually buy it, and after a while, I kind of forgot about it. So when Gamefly suggested it to me, I thrust it up to number one on my queue. And I have to say, I'm so glad I did.

As much as I knock on this generation of games, deservedly I might add, and as much as I hate what most of the big companies are doing in gaming today, the likes of Capcom being among the worst, I'm pleasantly astounded that they let this game come out and that they promoted it as much as they did. It's an extremely unique venture in gaming, and I'm glad the creators got pretty much free-reign from such a huge publisher to create an experience you won't find in any other game.

The developers, CyberConnect2 are among the more unheralded in gaming today. Responsible for the "cult classic" .hack game series as well as the acclaimed Naruto fighters, as well as almost completely unknown but fairly praised platformer Tail Concerto, and RPG Solatorobo: Red the Hunter, the former of which I've played and enjoyed. Anyway, they're known for high-action, anime-style games, sort of like a mini-Atlus. In this case, they created one of the most beautiful animes I've ever seen with a deep and inspiring story, and fun, interactive gameplay.

The best summary I've been able to conjure so far is that it's an odd combination of Dragon Ball Z, God of War,  and Shadow of the Colossus. In-battle, it's a traditional action-platformer camera, with your character in the middle of all the action, jumping and hacking away at crowds of enemies, with a fairly effective lock-on feature. The boss battle camera angle is similar to their Naruto games, over-the-back, and angled so your character's body doesn't obstruct your view of the environment or your enemy. It's a mix of fast-paced collisions and projectile-firing, mixed in the fray are, don't leave when I say this, quick-time events. The QTE's are actually interesting, they don't make themselves over-complicated, allowing you to enjoy the action itself, but the combinations keep you on your toes enough that you don't end up not interacting at all. I don't love them, but they're done better here than usual. Honestly, the boss battles are more like what Ultimate Tenkaichi should have been.

The graphics are so fucking stunning. It's one of the best looking "animes" I've seen. It's really backed by its over-the-top story and in-game cinematics  The first main boss you fight grows to about three or four times the size of the planet you're on, which is clearly modeled after earth. The story is all about betrayal and taking revenge on beings that, at the beginning of your journey, outclass you by leagues. Yeah, it sounds a good bit like God of War, except you were once one of them, and you have actual attachments to all of the major villains. Back to Dragon Ball Z, imagine Goku when he first fights Vegeta, going against a bunch of Super Saiyan 2's and 3's, and even a 4. Yeah, the gap starts that big. But even with the 8-10 hour length, it progresses well, believably n the context of the world, and it's really satisfying to see Asura grow throughout. Great character development, amazing visuals and action, backed by an amazing soundtrack by Chikayo Fukuda make for an amazing and engrossing world and leaves you begging for more, or for an actual anime series.

All in all, there are negatives about this game, but they're miniscule. The QTE's are well-done, but a bit on the heavy side. the battling is fun but one-dimensional control-wise, and it isn't very long. All of those are minor complaints and don't really water down an amazing experience. Asura's Wrath is one of my favorite games of the soon-dead console generation and is definitely worth at least a rental, if not a purchase at its reduced current price.

                            I'm sorry, but he looks like Marik Ishtar.
                                  He even has his own army of friggin' Steves.



Twitter: @SycoMantis1991, Facebook: Sycotic Soliloquies, comment, share, whatever you like, blah blah blah, have a good one and shiz.

Xbox One... LMAO

So, I know it's a day late, but the Xbox One was finally announced yesterday. I figured it'd be fair to give a day for more of the info to come out, be confirmed or denied, etc. And I have to say, I'm glad I did. Because holy fucking balls, do I have a lot of ammo. So, let's get started!

First of all, look at that thing. Just look at it. Is that not the ugliest Betamax player you've ever seen? Which is fitting since they're so keen on you watching TV and movies on it instead of, I dunno, playing video games. Anyway, back to the design. It genuinely looks like someone took two Identical, small VCR's, flipped one over, and jammed them together. It's simplistic, but not in a good way. If it didn't have that little "x" at the end, no one would guess it's not an archaic (as far as the technology itself goes) DVD player. Also, I don't know about anyone else, but I think that controller looks uncomfortable. it's basically the original Xbox controller, which anyone agrees was too big, but with the handles extended to unnaturally-fitting proportions.

I honestly think they did this on purpose. They spend most of their reveal show talking about how much TV you can watch and how easily you can access the web. Microsoft has a fetish for creating media hubs. There's nothing wrong with that, but why does it have to be in out video game consoles. DVD players can't play video games, so why do gaming consoles need to play DVDs, Youtube, Skype, stream sporting events and the like. I don't know if you've heard of a thing called cable, or computers. Phones can Skype now, we don't need a "high-tech media system" to do that while we play a video game. Turn your damn computer on and set it down, it's not that inconvenient. And if you want to both play while you Skype, it'd still more accurate, because when you're in the same room, you usually see their side more than their face. So yeah, make a super cable box, don't bother putting a disc drive into it too.

That's the tip of the iceberg though, it gets worse. Let's see. Oh yeah, remember the days when the NES came out and everyone was so happy because they didn't have to input a code and wait for a game to install before playing it? Well, guess what! With the Xbox One, you have to input a code and wait for a game to install before playing it. Sounds like the PC, huh? But wait, there's more. After doing that, if you want to, say, take your game to your friend's house, or play it on the console of the sibling or significant other, or even roommate you share a place, as well as an internet connection with, you have to pay to install said game on their console too, not only that, you have to pay FULL RETAIL PRICE! So if you wanna play on another system, let someone borrow the game, you basically have to rebuy it. Which also means, good luck trading it in or buying it used, because it'll be the same as buying it new. This pretty much kills the used game market for the entire console.

So remember how everyone was afraid the new Xbox would be always online? Well, it's not, and it is. It's not what we expected, at least. The fear was that you'd have to be connected to play the games, online or off, similar to the new SimCity. But no, Microsoft took it one step further. You don't need to be online to play, but the system will force itself onto your connection, even after you turn it off. Searching for and downloading mandatory patches and updates constantly for your games. And if you don't have said updates? You can't play it. What's more, the pre-installed Kinect is always on too. Going Hal-9000 on your ass while you eat, sleep, and bone. All so you can yell "XBOX ON!" "XBOX PLAY CALL OF DUTY: SAME AS THE LAST ONE!" "XBOX ESPN!" XBOX YOUTUBE!" in the middle of your living room to get it to do anything, oh yeah, did I mention have of its functions are locked to the voice sensor?

A few more things real quick. You can't transfer your Marketplace purchases to the One, meaning you have to keep your 360 if you wanna play Super Meat Boy or Banjo-Kazooie. Not only that, no backwards compatibility. There aren't a whole lot of 360 games worth playing again, but it's still a feature that's rather simple nowadays, and is an obvious attempt to keep their old console selling. One more thing. That name is stupid. We have an "Xbox One". It's better than this piece of shit. The only positive things I can honestly say about this thing are that it's the first Xbox actually shaped like a box, and the kinect integrating the infrared sensor into the camera is a good idea. But yeah, that's pretty much it.

In conclusion, as I've said, I will likely not be buying a next-gen console. And if I do, it will NOT be the 360. The closest I plan on coming is the 3DS. And if you want game companies to actually start caring about games and gamers when making their games, or their systems, you won't buy this atrocity either.


Blah, blah blah, Twitter, @SycoMantis1991, blah blah Facebook, blah Sycotic Soliloquies, blah blah share n comment, blah blah, repetitiveness.

Favorite Albums of 1968

Sorry this one took so long. A lot happening, mostly with people around me has taken up a lot of my time. Some good things, some shit things. So yeah, moving on...

So, 1968 is a year. And music came out in it, and I like some of it, and this is the music stuff that I like. Yeah, list time!

10. Creedence Clearwater Revival - Creedence Clearwater Revival: CCR is one of my first 60's-early 70's loves. Their music is a weird mix of bluegrass, southern rock, and blues that 45 years after their debut, I still haven't heard anywhere else. That being said, most debuts by great bands fall under one of two categories. You have the albums where the band puts all their energy and musical creativity into a masterpiece of an album, or the albums where you can tell the band was still growing as musicians and songwriters, while having a resemblance of their better work, they tend to be more formulaic and less dynamic. Unfortunately "Creedence Clearwater Revival" falls under the latter. You can tell it's CCR, it's got their sound, but all of the songs sound the same and while they sound great, it gets old after a while, making the album as a whole their least appealing and most boring. That being said, I still really enjoy this album. It just doesn't hold up as well as their future work.

9. Iron Butterfly - In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida: Honestly, the title track alone is almost enough to make this list, but the other tracks, all five of them, are good as well. Ranging from prog rock, to some of the earliest Stoner Rock, Iron Butterfly's debut is a hallmark in music history that's solid, unique and innovative throughout, ending in one of rock's most epic and amazing songs. Fans of Kyuss, Clutch, Deftones, Fu Manchu, and even White Zombie and Tool, bow to Iron Butterfly, because without them, I doubt those bands would exist.

8. The Amboy Dukes - Journey to the Center of the Mind: I love me some Ted Nugent. The Amboy Dukes are horribly underrated when people talk about his career. Though not as good as their first album, this is a great follow-up, and it's not 1967 so it was able to slide into the list. But it wasn't just The Nuge that made this band great, vocalist John Drake and rhythm guitarist Steve Farmer are also very underappreciated talents and songwriters that help take the songs to another level along with Ted's obviously great guitar work. This album, as hinted at in its title, is much more jazzy and psychedelic than Nugent's solo work. It's probably the most "laid back" album Ted Nugent would ever be associated with, but it's still a great album well worth your time, for interesting perspective on the wild man's career if nothing else.

7. The Kinks - Village Green Preservation Society: Ah, The Beatles are still going strong. Yeah, this sounds so much like a Beatles album, you'd be justified in confusing the two. There's some Kinks flavor, but you can tell they were trying to ride The Beatles' popularity. There are more mellow tracks, more vocal harmonies, and more instrumental experimentation. Honestly, they pull it off pretty well. I enjoy The Kinks in general, but as a huge Beatles fan, you can't go wrong with sounding like them. Especially if you actually have the talent to do so effectively. That makes it surprising that it never charted on release, only selling approximately 100,000 copies. But it's been highly praised in hindsight and even landed around the middle of  Rolling Stone's 500 Greatest Albums of All Time. Also, that name is pretty awesome.

6. The Zombies - Odessey and Oracle: This is widely considered the shining moment of The Zombies' career. Nines and tens, 4.5 and 5 stars, 100th Greatest Album of All Time according to Rolling Stone. It's experimental, complex and engaging both musically and lyrically, and enjoyable throughout. This is especially impressive when you consider that the album was recorded in a meager and hectic six months. How they sounded so relaxed during this whole thing is beyond me. An amazing album, buuuuuuut I still prefer their self-titled debut.

5. Blue Cheer - Vincebus Eruptum: This is one of the most revolutionary albums ever created in my humble and correct opinion. Blue Cheer established the Metal guitar sound with this album. Every track is heavy and atmospheric. Just listen to the riffs on songs like "Summertime Blues" (classic among classics) and "Doctor Please". There are only six tracks, but they're all jam-packed with musical goodness. Oh yeah, they started that trend of multiple six to seven-minute epic tracks in rock and metal. Also, they kick ass.

4. Cream - Wheels of Fire: If Eric Clapton had an album in the 60's or 70's it's probably going to be on my list for that year. The man is a master of his craft, and it's just amplified when he's surrounded by so much talent. Honestly, this album could have still been #10 or 9 if every track was just "White Room". Easily one of my favorite songs of all time. it's so melodic and chilling, while still energetic, and the metaphorical lyrics are so high, I just love everything about it. But the rest of the album actually measures up surprisingly well. I still wouldn't make your best track ever the album lead, but every track is really good guitar-driven Blues Rock by some of the greatest to ever do it.

3. The Rolling Stones - Beggars Banquet: The beginning of the great Stones albums. I can't say it's their best, as it's a tad on the one-dimensional side compared to some of their later work. Just about every song is a mid-paced, bluesey/acoustic song, full of random instrumentation and laid back vocal melodies, no matter the subject matter. While it loses points for having so little variety, the Stones pull this off so well, it's astounding. Every song is a great listen, and if you're in the mood for the kind of music this album provides, you could listen to the whole thing over and over and still be entranced. That and it has "Sympathy for the Devil" on it. Discussion over.

2. The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Electric Ladyland: While I've never been to Electric Ladyland, I sure as balls love their music. This is probably The Experience's greatest work from a technical standpoint. Every song is complex both musically and lyrically and everyone is in the prime of their performing careers. Unfortunately, I didn't grow up with this album as much as Are You Experienced? and for that alone, I think I don't like this one quite as much, but it's still an amazing album that's a clinic in writing music.

1. The Beatles - The Beatles (The White Album): It's rare that a band makes a double album and I end up actually glad they did. Almost every time, what they make turns out to be about half good, and half filler, if that. But as we all know, The Beatles. What about them? Just... The Beatles. They simply don't write bad songs. I think this is my third, maybe fourth favorite Beatles album, but it's still an absolute classic. While every song isn't stellar, every song is really good at the very least. If they released the best songs as a single album, it'd be a masterpiece, but the extra songs are of great enough quality that I'm glad they exist.






Again, sorry that took so long. I shall make an effort to be more consistent. Also, I'm gonna start doing random years. It feels too boring to both the readers, and the creator to be moving at such a slow pace. That and I can talk about all kinds of genres and such. Anyway, look forward to that, probably next Friday-ish, unless I get really bored this weekend. So yea, @SycoMantis1991 on Twitter, Sycotic Sliloquies on Facebook, comment, etc.

Disney Gives EA Exclusive Console Gaming Development for Star Wars. WHY?!

"I felt a great disturbance in the Force... as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened." Quite honestly, Obi-Wan pretty much sums up how I feel about this. I have to admit, I was more on-board with Disney's purchase of the Star Wars franchise. Even moreso after the announcement of a new trilogy, and even moreso than that, after announcing movies outside of the main story being released every year there isn't a new numbered sequel. I was never totally enamored with the idea, but I've been very cautiously optimistic. Not certain they'd do great things, but knowing if anyone could, it'd be Disney. They've done great things with Marvel the last few years, though most of those movies aren't quite as amazing as they're made out to be, but still entertaining, and no one has the resources they do.

My optimism started to wane a few months ago with the announcement of the director for Star Wars: Episode VII, J.J. Abrams. While I love knowing John Williams will be creating the music, and Harrison Ford's always witty and entertaining character both naturally and as Han Solo will return, putting J.J. Abrams at the helm cancels those out for me. I don't think Abrams is a poor director necessarily, I just think he's possibly the most average director on the planet. I've never watched anything he worked on and had an emotional response to it. His movies, as well as his television series' always feel stale and robotic, just going through the motions without doing anything different or even exciting. That's not a movie-making formula that I think works with such a high-fantasy sci-fi, story-driven series like Star Wars in all its endless incarnations has been. But that aside, this isn't about J.J. Abrams, this is about *sighs* Electronic fucking Arts.

Anyone who cares enough about video games, especially Star Wars games, probably already knows why this seems like a horrendous idea. EA is basically the collaborative effort of the most money-hungry, least consumer-concerned blights upon the gaming industry. Voted "Worst Company in America" each of the last two years by consumerist.com and for good reason, EA has established verification codes that go along with their games, disallowing Xbox Live and PSN as well as downloading DLC and even online multiplayer if you didn't buy their games new, as well as creating their own Steam-like service that has been suspected of monitoring users' computer activity. There are also a plethora of  questionable account suspensions and bans including a suspension for posting an Origin troubleshooting link that EA themselves had posted in the past, commenting about teabagging other players after a kill (of course, they are EA forums), and my favorite, posting in a BioWare forum asking "Have you sold your souls to the EA devil?" which they only got mad about because it was clearly an accurate analysis. Have you played Dragon Age II?

Oh, but Origin is far from the worst of their crimes. EA has their ads strewn over every gaming site that just so happens to give their games glowing reviews. They force their developers to push out bare-bones titles frequently and expect us lambs to pay full price every time. Crysis, Battlefield, Army of Two, the crap CoD ripoffs (and you know it's bad when I insult it in comparison to Call of Duty) that are the new Medal of honor games, and the God of War clone, Dante's Inferno. Don't get me started on their sports games. I love sports, and I love sports games, but they've degenerated into nothing but $60 roster updates. It's not worth it. We know it, they know it, but neither will do anything about it.

I haven't even gotten started on their slaughter of some of the only quality developers and franchises lately. They forced Visceral Games to curb the Sci-Fi Survival Horror series Dead Space, and make it a third-person shooter with weak jump scares and imposed a 5 million sale minimum in order to keep the series going (which they really shouldn't anyway at this rate), which of course it failed to meet, partially because a Dead Space game had yet to reach even 4 million, and partially because people knew it'd be a watered-down version of the game they love because EA had their hands in it. It gets worse though. BioWare, yeah, remember them? Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Knights of the Old Republic, Dragon Age, Mass Effect, they were the kings of the Western RPG. They were Squaresoft East, then Electronic Arts bought them. Dragon Age II became a third-person hack n' slasher with no character customization, minimum RPG elements, a claustrophobic "world", ugly environments, and completely copied dungeons. Then the final chapter in this console generation's biggest actual franchise, Mass Effect 3 came, Ashley became a model, the model of a mid-20's "cool guy" was shoe-horned in, and thought the rest of the game was amazing, the ending was farted out in twenty minutes to meet deadlines and ended up being pretty much a nonsensical pile of ass. They destroyed BioWare so wholly, it lead their two founding members, Greg Zeschuk and Ray Muzyka, as well as their master lead writer, Drew Karpyshyn to willingly bail on the company they gave so much of their lives to, leaving one of the great developers in video game history as a shell of their former selves.

These are the people we expect to handle possibly the most beloved media franchise ever established? FUCKING REALLY, DISNEY?!?! Next thing I know, Michael Bay is going to make Episode VIII and Rihanna is gonna make the soundtrack for it! You're marketing geniuses, you do your research, you know EA creates more bloodlust among gamers than all other entities combined, how could you even consider this a good idea? What are you on? Did Sonic Team invade your ranks?! What the balls is wrong with you people?!

Ok, vitriol-laced rant over, WHAT THE FUCK?!, anyway, let's take a look at how this is going to play out.  There are three developers that have been given creative license with the Star Wars franchise under the Excreting Anuses banner. DICE, famous for making Call of Duty: Youcanblowupbuildingsanddrive Edition (aka Battlefield), and Mirror's Edge I guess?, Visceral who created the above average last-gen James Bond games, the above average Godfather games, the pretty good God of War clone Dante's Inferno, and Dead Space, which was big and innovative, but proved Vesceral is totally fine with letting EA run their ideals into the fucking grave. There's also, of course, BioWare, or what's left of it at least. The dull, rotting husk of RPG perfection long-gone. I'm not excited, even BioWare doesn't provide me with any real solace. Ok, there will probably be an RPG, cool, will it be an RPG in more than name? I guess we'll see. And will they get time to actually create their vision? Ha! I doubt it.

What would I like to see? Well, let me preface by saying I expect nothing positive out of this. I suppose Dice is the obvious candidate if we were to see a Star Wars: Battlefront 3, which I would like to see, IF it's not a third-person shooter, which it would almost definitely be. I think the easiest fit for them is another Republic Commando game, or to a lesser extent, a rebooted TIE FIghter-style game, though again, I wouldn't trust any of these. Visceral are the ones I honestly have the most hope for. They have more experience making more kinds of games than the other two. I can see them pulling off a hacker like Force Unleashed but more refined control-wise, and hopefully longer. I could also see a Bounty Hunter type game, almost like 1313 was supposed to be, but a huge, sprawling mix of a faster Dead Space and Assassin's Creed. BioWare, well I think they're still capable of greatness, but I don't have much faith. I'm honestly expecting a watered-down TOR, and I definitely wouldn't mind a KOTOR 3, but with Karpyshyn done, who wrote a lot of the first game, I don't know, unless they can get help from Obsidian like they have to great results in the past, and there are a lot of other things they can do in the RPG realm, taking Expanded Universe games, or tackling unused periods in Star Wars from a similar or maybe even different angle, but whatever it is, it'll probably be a promise-laden, unfinished mess. Sorry BioWare, I love you, but EA's dragging you down, bro.

In short, I hate this move. There are things about it that you can point to and say "that could be nice", but you can say that for pretty much any company. The point is, EA has a history of horrible business practices, pushing out unfinished games, and imposing strict changes on the creative vision of those actually creating the games. EA isn't just hated to be hated, there's perfect reason for it, and there couldn't have been a worse choice for a company to tie Disney's new, huge franchise to. I hope it turns out well, but I don't see it happening in the slightest. Oh well, I'm gonna go play some KOTOR or Jedi Outcast.

Thanks for reading. Follow me on @SycoMantis1991 on Twitter, comment, subscribe, or don't either way's cool.